Comments on: Have you heard the one about… http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed Emotional Feelings and Sensitivity Training Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:11:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Erin http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-27 Erin Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:21:28 +0000 http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/?p=46#comment-27 I've been trying to have a baby for nine years. No, I still don't have one. My doctor (a woman whose OWN children are adopted because she couldn't have biological children) made one of these comments to me recently - something about some person, a patient maybe, who'd tried FOREVER, and just when they thought it would NEVER happen, WOW! SURPRISE! I looked at her after she told me this and said "I'm sure those things do happen to some people, but I am not one of those people and to be honest I'm a little tired of hearing about them." That shut her up. What I hope it will do in the future though is make her think before she speaks. It's hard. And NOBODY knows how you feel. I have another friend who tried to get pregnant for a year and then did on her first insemination. Her baby is now 7 months old. Just a couple of weeks ago I was relaying tales of my re-entry into the land of infertility treatments, the frustration, the heartbreak (the first round of IF ended in severe depression and divorce). Luckily (amazingly!) I healed for the most part and met a wonderful man. Anyway, this friend said "Ug, I know EXACTLY how you feel". Um, really? No. No, I don't think you have a single clue. Hmmm... maybe I'd like to contribute to your blog... I’ve been trying to have a baby for nine years. No, I still don’t have one. My doctor (a woman whose OWN children are adopted because she couldn’t have biological children) made one of these comments to me recently – something about some person, a patient maybe, who’d tried FOREVER, and just when they thought it would NEVER happen, WOW! SURPRISE! I looked at her after she told me this and said “I’m sure those things do happen to some people, but I am not one of those people and to be honest I’m a little tired of hearing about them.” That shut her up. What I hope it will do in the future though is make her think before she speaks.

It’s hard. And NOBODY knows how you feel. I have another friend who tried to get pregnant for a year and then did on her first insemination. Her baby is now 7 months old. Just a couple of weeks ago I was relaying tales of my re-entry into the land of infertility treatments, the frustration, the heartbreak (the first round of IF ended in severe depression and divorce). Luckily (amazingly!) I healed for the most part and met a wonderful man. Anyway, this friend said “Ug, I know EXACTLY how you feel”. Um, really? No. No, I don’t think you have a single clue.

Hmmm… maybe I’d like to contribute to your blog…

]]> By: Erica http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-15 Erica Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:43:23 +0000 http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/?p=46#comment-15 I usually say something back to these anecdotes. The conversation usually ends after that. Hello- Here to introduce myself and my non profit parenthood for me.org. Please visit my website and blog. We need help spreading the word. Thanks, Erica I usually say something back to these anecdotes. The conversation usually ends after that.
Hello- Here to introduce myself and my non profit parenthood for me.org. Please visit my website and blog. We need help spreading the word.
Thanks,
Erica

]]> By: Sharon http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-13 Sharon Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:25:07 +0000 http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/?p=46#comment-13 I hate hearing these stories, too. Though I have to say, I actually have friends who have lived some of them: friends who finally had a child after 9 miscarriages, friends who conceived on a 'break' cycle after 2 failed IVFs, friends who were approved to adopt and then found out they were pregnant. Having someone tell me any of these stories, even if it WAS based on personal experience, is not helpful or supportive. I hate hearing these stories, too. Though I have to say, I actually have friends who have lived some of them: friends who finally had a child after 9 miscarriages, friends who conceived on a ‘break’ cycle after 2 failed IVFs, friends who were approved to adopt and then found out they were pregnant.

Having someone tell me any of these stories, even if it WAS based on personal experience, is not helpful or supportive.

]]> By: Michele http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-12 Michele Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:37:48 +0000 http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/?p=46#comment-12 Hubby and I were just discussing this. Every time someone has ever said something like that to us, I have wanted to just slap the crap out of them. In their hearts, I know people are trying to be sympathetic, but it always comes out wrong. Always. Hubby and I were just discussing this. Every time someone has ever said something like that to us, I have wanted to just slap the crap out of them. In their hearts, I know people are trying to be sympathetic, but it always comes out wrong. Always.

]]> By: mg http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/have-you-heard-the-one-about%e2%80%a6/comment-page-1/#comment-11 mg Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:45:50 +0000 http://infertilityisthenewblack.com/?p=46#comment-11 I felt such a cringe of embarrassment as I read this last posting for I know it's something I have been guilty of, and for that I am sorry. It is so difficult to know what to say, how to be supportive and how to convey a sense of empathy for the struggles you're going through. I would like to do/say something to be helpful, but it can be painful to know that nothing I say helps and more often hurts. I felt such a cringe of embarrassment as I read this last posting for I know it’s something I have been guilty of, and for that I am sorry. It is so difficult to know what to say, how to be supportive and how to convey a sense of empathy for the struggles you’re going through. I would like to do/say something to be helpful, but it can be painful to know that nothing I say helps and more often hurts.

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