Comments on: Dwindling Contacts

By: Megan

Megan — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 04:52:56 +0000

The holidays certainly seem to be the worst times of the year for trying to be constantly surrounded by friends and family that already have a baby or more. Although, I sometimes feel the uncomfort that my close family feels and knows that I am going through, it just makes things even more awkward.

By: Smitty76

Smitty76 — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 17:28:26 +0000

I’m late to the party, but I wanted to say that this is exactly where I’m at. It’s not that I don’t love my friends or trust them with our story, it’s just so exhausting to talk about it sometimes. And I can’t even tell you how many baby showers, first birthdays, family nights, etc that we’ve missed.

Now that we’re prepping to adopt, a couple of my true bffs have expressed that they’d like to throw us a shower. Sweet, right? Well, since we’ve been so MIA at others’ celebrations, I have this fear in the back of my mind that no one will want to celebrate ours.

By: Willow

Willow — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 07:19:02 +0000

Maintaining relationships during IF, whether you share what you’re going through or not, is a very difficult thing. I’ve been lucky enough not to lose friends during our 3.5 years of TTC, but there have definitely been rough patches, even with my BFF. I think people who aren’t going thru it don’t know what to say, and I do think they get tired of hearing about the same things again & again–but of course we get tired of going thru those same things without knowing when it will stop! Great post!

By: teejay

teejay — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:04:45 +0000

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I’m always looking for new blogs to read as more and more get categorized into my “pregnant” folder. I can totally relate to this post. I only have 1 person that I talk to about our struggles but she doesn’t totally get it because she has 3 kids. We only talk about it if she brings it up and then it’s just short because I get too emotional and I know she doesn’t fully understand. It seems that we can only really count on the IF community sometimes for total support and that’s too bad.

By: T Lee

T Lee — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:45:55 +0000

We never really had that close outlet with anyone (not concerning IF, anyway). The people we did tell never seemed to care in the first place. I have a feeling the whole IF drama is going to happen for one of my friends, and I really hope I can be the bigger person and help her through, even though she ignored me…

ICLW

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:32:50 +0000

My husband and I were talking about a similar situation earlier this week. He asked me who I have talked to recently regarding our state of affairs and I replied no one. We are very open about our situation but the friends who have been with us all along don’t seem to want to hear it anymore as they never ask(and I get sick of being the only one to bring it up). We have gained quite a few new friends in the last year but since they didn’t even ask how I was after my miscarriage I don’t bother trying to express my feelings regarding IF to them.

If it weren’t for my blog and other online communities I would probably explode.

By: JourneyGirl

JourneyGirl — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:55:36 +0000

Happy ICLW! What a fabulous post and I do agree though I am more often the person distancing myself. However, I do think that sometimes people in my life leave the contact up to me because they could be unsure of who they are going to get – happy, positive me or sad, emotionally volitile me.

By: Alice

Alice — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 06:15:36 +0000

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I definitely feel like my circle of friends is shrinking. And, like you say, I think that even my “go to” friends are fading away as the years go by. I guess what’s left is the blogging community … thank goodness for it!

By: EC

EC — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:20:50 +0000

I think this is true for me, too. We talk to people about what we’re going through, but no one really understands, because they haven’t been through it. I give brief updates, but that’s about it. We aren’t horribly private about it, but it’s rare that we talk to people about it in any great detail, either. While I try not to let it be the focus of my life, it’s something that’s always there…and something that I think does isolate me from others.

Surprisingly, the one friend I have who is probably most supportive is one who got pregnant easily twice and has two beautiful children. You just never know how people will react!

~ICLW

By: Christina

Christina — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 04:34:01 +0000

I can understand this. At the same time, though, most of my really good friends are fully supportive and we’re very open. I try really hard not to let my IF rule every conversation or realtionship that I have, but sometimes that’s hard. Plus, people sometimes feel awkward no matter what you talk about. Best of luck to you…lean on those friends who are there for you.

Christina
iclw